Who knew a conversation about the fresh scent of Lemon Pledge could take such a dark turn? This episode, we share an unsettling story about a break-in attempt at my aunt's tranquil new home, an incident that left us with chills and a newfound wariness of the quiet that blankets small towns. As we peel back the layers of this nightmarish experience, we debate the complexities of home defense—the legalities, the moral quandaries, and our own personal limits when faced with an intruder. It's a tale that serves as a stark reminder: danger often lurks where we least expect it.
Then, as the millennium clock ticked down, fear burgeoned in the hearts of many, culminating in a haunting encounter in a local church. We recount the disturbing actions of a woman bearing dead animals and curses, her sinister laughter echoing in the hallowed walls, and the macabre aftermath that befell those who dared to oppose her. It's a story straight out of the dark ages—villagers seeking a counter-curse, a confrontation with a supposed witch, and the gripping, irrational fear that can ensnare even the most modern communities. Join us as we explore the shadowy intersection of superstition and reality at the dawn of Y2K.
Who knew a conversation about the fresh scent of Lemon Pledge could take such a dark turn? This episode, we share an unsettling story about a break-in attempt at my aunt's tranquil new home, an incident that left us with chills and a newfound wariness of the quiet that blankets small towns. As we peel back the layers of this nightmarish experience, we debate the complexities of home defense—the legalities, the moral quandaries, and our own personal limits when faced with an intruder. It's a tale that serves as a stark reminder: danger often lurks where we least expect it.
Then, as the millennium clock ticked down, fear burgeoned in the hearts of many, culminating in a haunting encounter in a local church. We recount the disturbing actions of a woman bearing dead animals and curses, her sinister laughter echoing in the hallowed walls, and the macabre aftermath that befell those who dared to oppose her. It's a story straight out of the dark ages—villagers seeking a counter-curse, a confrontation with a supposed witch, and the gripping, irrational fear that can ensnare even the most modern communities. Join us as we explore the shadowy intersection of superstition and reality at the dawn of Y2K.
And uh is this thing on, hello. It's. Navidad. Hello, hello, it's getting hot in there, hello.
Speaker 3:
That was terrible. You take that back that was a bad joke and you know it.
Speaker 2:
No, it was not.
Speaker 3:
It was a terrible joke and you know it was.
Speaker 2:
Nah, but the punchline was always Nelly.
Speaker 3:
I don't like that.
Speaker 2:
It happens, just gotta accept it for what it is. No.
Speaker 3:
It's mucho bad joke.
Speaker 2:
But it got you more lemon pledge.
Speaker 3:
Well, you're not wrong on that one, but I'm you know, I only use lemon fabuloso.
Speaker 2:
How dare you?
Speaker 3:
It's purple is the only way to go.
Speaker 2:
Oh yeah, the purple is the best one, though that's the one that we use.
Speaker 3:
How the fuck did we get on this topic?
Speaker 2:
Uh, oh, because you were doing the cleaning lady from Family Guy.
Speaker 3:
Oh, was that what I was doing?
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 3:
Speaking of lemon pledge, no, no. The Pine Sol, the Fabuloso's pretty good, but the fucking Mexican Pine Sol's the best smelling one. It's got like lemony and then pine smell. I don't even know what it is, it's not even a real smell, it just smells really good.
Speaker 2:
It's lemony ass, oh Jesus.
Speaker 3:
Well, on that note, speaking of lemony ass, what do we have today?
Speaker 2:
Well, not any asses full of lemons, but uh.
Speaker 3:
Oh, you never heard the story of old ghost lemon ass.
Speaker 2:
Uh, you mean ghost ass lemon.
Speaker 3:
Ghost of ass lemon. Yes, I remember him.
Speaker 2:
He was an interesting man. That's all I knew, oh.
Speaker 3:
God. Well, what do you got?
Speaker 2:
buddy. So let's find out, shall we?
Speaker 3:
All righty.
Speaker 2:
My aunt had recently gotten divorced and had just bought a new house in a new city. She originally lived in a big city in Tennessee and moved to a little quiet town. Lived in a big city in Tennessee and moved to a little quiet town, she invited us to come stay. My mom, dad, older sister and I we're from Indiana, so we planned a trip to go stay. My cousins are just a bit younger than I am. I remember arriving and thinking that it was kind of creepy that there was so little in the town. It had an eerie feel to it. There was no one around, very few cars and no kids playing in the neighborhood. It's the first night there and we all get settled in and go to sleep. My parents take my aunt's room. My aunt sleeps in one of my cousin's rooms, I sleep in one of my cousin's rooms with her and my sister sleeps in the living room with my other cousin.
Speaker 2:
It's probably around 2am and my cousin and I are still up talking. We start hearing like a knock coming from the outside wall. We think it's just the wind, considering their backyard is fenced in. I then mentioned to her how I felt like I was being watched and she commented that she did too, so we assume it's just my sister and cousin spying on us. We're all between 10 and 16 years old.
Speaker 2:
A little while, probably 30 minutes-ish later or so, I hear my sister from the living room quietly calling for my aunt in a shaky voice. Although I'm the younger sister, I'm also the more protective sister. So I go running to the living room to see what's wrong and she points to the back door. I look over and we can clearly see the doorknob and door shaking violently. I run and get my aunt and soon as she turned on the lights the door stopped moving. We go to get my parents and my dad goes outside and checks the whole house and finds scratches on the back door around the handle.
Speaker 2:
It's creepy to think that this person was probably watching my cousin and I for a while before he decided to try and break in. I'm just thankful he didn't actually get in. We're also not sure how we got in the fence. It's a decently tall wooden fence with no gate. Needless to say, I didn't sleep the rest of that trip and honestly I don't think anyone did and I believe it was definitely a person. It looked like they were trying to take the door handle off Jesus. Yeah, that's why all those small towns can be nice. Sometimes they lead to you being one of the few victims that the town has to choose from.
Speaker 3:
Hell. No, If I see somebody try to fucking take my doorknob off, I'm flying through the door first and then I'm asking questions after.
Speaker 2:
Oh yeah, yeah, you unload, you open the door and say do you need medical aid?
Speaker 3:
You want a side of bullets with that. Would you like a side of? Bandages You'd be like. I try to help them.
Speaker 2:
Would you like a side of bandages with those bullets?
Speaker 3:
What's the legality of doing that?
Speaker 2:
I mean being you don't know if they have a weapon or not. You're best backing away from the door? I would back away from the door. And're best backing away from the door? Um, I would back away from the door and have the gun trained on the door. That way, when they come through, if I see a weapon, I'm shooting. If they don't, and me pointing my weapon at them is enough to get them to go away, then that's good. If they still continue charging, then obviously you got to be in fear for your life because they're charging someone with a gun yeah, you gotta be pretty fucking insane to be like you know what I see the gun, but I'm not gonna stop yeah, so can't stop, won't stop.
Speaker 2:
I mean, a lot of places have it's like a castle law or some shit like that, where anything that happens within your home, with you defending the life of yourself or your family, it's legal as long as it's in your home. Other states don't have them, which kind of fucks people and they just gotta hope for the best through the legal system.
Speaker 3:
But yeah, that's fucking. That's why you gotta have to have gloves on when you hear somebody breaking in and as soon as they open door, throw a knife at them, be like catch. Then you fucking unload. Right, he had a knife, it's your knife.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I don't know how the fuck he got it.
Speaker 3:
You can't prove that it has your name carved into it. He's crazy, See. He fucking planned it for me.
Speaker 2:
Right.
Speaker 3:
I had him fucking unload a whole clip.
Speaker 2:
I mean, if I didn't, he was going to do some weird shit. So you know, better be safe than sorry.
Speaker 3:
So would you unload the whole clip or would it just be like a couple shots to get him on the ground?
Speaker 2:
Well.
Speaker 3:
Or is that just very?
Speaker 2:
If, if I'm shooting at something that seemingly, from everything I can see, means to do me harm, I am mag dumping.
Speaker 3:
What's the legality of that, though? Because I'm pretty sure they're going to try to make the case like oh you saw, he dropped in like four bullets.
Speaker 2:
Well, I mean, yeah, if he drops, then I'm going, but as long as he is up I am shooting. Then I'm going, but as long as he is up I am shooting. I mean, the cops do the same shit all the time. I've seen videos of where the person's on the ground dead, like you know. They're fucking gone and they still shoot them like once or twice more did you ever see that video of that dude?
Speaker 3:
it was here in town, that dude who was like in the fucking mobility scooter and he had a knife. He was coming at the cops slowly and the fucking cops just unload on him.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, that was unwarranted. They could have just tased his ass or waited until he got closer, got behind him, took the knife.
Speaker 3:
I thought he said get behind him and pull the battery out of his scooter.
Speaker 2:
I mean, yeah, could have done that too, but I mean mean, there's so much that could have been done as opposed to that. So, yeah, that was tpd and their, uh, excessive use of force. Yeah, what can you say? Some, some people that are leo, do a great job and do the right thing and others just got bullied in high school and told they had little dicks so they got a badge and they think that makes a difference.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, that's uh.
Speaker 2:
But you know, tomato, tomato, potato, potato, akuna matata.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, there's always going to be good people and bad.
Speaker 2:
As is the everlasting fight, my friend, good versus evil.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, and like you said, the people got bullied in high school that now have a bit of power. They're like I'm going to abuse this.
Speaker 2:
Yep, and then they end up hurting people that they think were like them or that ended up to be like them when they were younger. Yeah, it's a cycle Hurt people, hurt people, very true, uhurt people hurt people.
Speaker 3:
Very true, uh-huh, exactly.
Speaker 2:
Hurt people also take medicine for their pains.
Speaker 3:
Tylenol Sponsor us.
Speaker 2:
Or ibuprofen.
Speaker 3:
Or Advil or Aleve or cough drops to somebody.
Speaker 2:
Or coffee Aquaphor. Yes, for all your tattoo-luby armed-up needs Aquaphor. Yes, for all your tattoo luby armed up needs Aquaphor. See, we can do a commercial spot.
Speaker 3:
Exactly, we're not being paid for it, but If you'd like to, just like.
Speaker 2:
You know we're telling this story for free, but you know, if the story people are impressed with the way we tell it, you could.
Speaker 3:
Send us a check for $5.99. It's enough for a Little Caesars pizza.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, well, I've got to account for tax, so it's like $6.20 something.
Speaker 3:
Send us $6.20 something.
Speaker 2:
That works.
Speaker 3:
I got our bases covered. But speaking of stories, what you got in store, I got less bases covered, yes, but speaking of stories, what you got in store, I got less true crime, more paranormal, all right, all right, let's see what you got. Yeah, so my story is about a Mexican witch. What's?
Speaker 2:
with all the brujas.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, my mom told me this one a while back and I just remember it right now. I don't think I've told it yet.
Speaker 2:
Sometimes acid brings back memories.
Speaker 3:
Sometimes you twist the wrong way. You take some Tylenol and knock something loose.
Speaker 2:
Oh God.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, so this one's about it takes place like 1999, like right before the turn of the century.
Speaker 2:
Shit. In December I was already going into triple digits that year in age.
Speaker 3:
You're fucking 300?.
Speaker 2:
Yes.
Speaker 3:
You fucking warlock.
Speaker 2:
I am the devil.
Speaker 3:
Jesus, what the fuck. So the story takes place in 1999, so the time frame was maybe like december 23rd, so around that time you know it was a y2k. So it takes place like towards the center of mexico, like towards my dad's village. My mom heard it from my grandmother on my father's side and she told me the world ending no, no, no this story. Oh okay, so this one's a hand me down.
Speaker 3:
Sometimes those are the best kind of stories yeah, so I'm gonna recall it as best as I can. So she told me that the story takes place around like december 1999. Um, you know how everybody's fucking like panicking about why2k the world was gonna end like at the start of the fucking new year oh yeah, I remember everybody, everybody prepping for that one so everybody was like super fucking panicked and shit.
Speaker 3:
So they were going to church more often than usual, so they were running like services, um, like more often, like every day. I think they did. I think like two services every day. At that point, and my grandma's telling us that her, like the family, went all that to the church and one of these nights it was on the I believe it was the 24th at this point, 23rd, 24th and they were all in mass and the the priest, he had like the little fucking microphone thing in and he was talking everybody and letting them know like don't, like, don't worry, everything's gonna be fine, it's like it's gonna work out. And the church was full and this like dirty old lady comes in from like the fucking the main row, like entering the church.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 3:
She comes in and she's just fucking like hysterically laughing and she's laughing like crazy. Everybody's like turning to look at her and she has, like this fucking like not a grocery bag, but like the duffel bags kind of, and they're saying that it stunk really bad.
Speaker 2:
So she was carrying around her shit?
Speaker 3:
Yes, you ruined the story. Y2k was this lady who threw shit at people. No, so she was walking around, she was laughing and the priest is on the microphone and he's told her you need to sit down and just stop disrupting everybody, because they're trying to pray and she starts yelling and laughing You're all going to fucking die. It's like you're trying to pray and she starts yelling like laughing, like you're all gonna fucking die. It's like, ah, you're gonna die anyways. What does it matter? Y2k is coming like everybody's gonna fucking die. It doesn't matter a true believer yeah.
Speaker 3:
So the priest told her, like you need to either like sit down and be quiet or you gotta go yeah and she starts laughing again like crazy hysterical laughing, and she tells the priest like she starts like naming off like these fucking horrible things he's done while he's been a priest Like fucking horrible, like disgusting things that he did and everybody's like fucking shocked and the fucking priest is like doesn't know what the fuck to do.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 3:
So he tells like the one of the maintenance guys, like fucking, get her and get the fuck out of here. Well, none of those words, but he told her like to get her out of here.
Speaker 2:
Could you imagine some priest Get that skank hooker bitch out of here. You smelly pirate hooker.
Speaker 3:
But um, the maintenance guys go and they grab her and then they draw, her bag falls. Well, she was carrying her little tote bag. It falls and a bunch of dead animals come out of it oh god yeah so the maintenance guy gets a little broom and he fucking sweeps it back into the bag and gives it to the lady and they're trying to take her out but she's like fucking kicking and like screaming and like laughing and shit yeah so then other people have to go and help them, like get her out and like close the doors.
Speaker 3:
Right before they threw her out, though, they said she was like yelling, like oh, I curse you guys, everybody fucking wronged me here. She's gonna fucking die and that's what fucking happened. And and so then a couple days pass, and this is like the 25th and everybody's still talking about that shit, because it's like a small little town, it's not even a town, it's like a village, yeah, and that everybody's still talking about what happened. And my mom said that my aunt so my dad's sister had said like she was panicking and she's like, well, I don don't want, like it's so fucking crazy, like let's just everybody get together and let's pray, like on, uh, christmas, like it's fine, it's like we're gonna hang out, we'll do our regular stuff. I said we pray, and then we just kind of like make sure everything's fine. So they go and they pray. On the 24th and the 25th comes around and they find out that the two dudes, the custodians, yeah.
Speaker 3:
They dropped dead the night before. They both had heart attacks and they had died. And then everybody's like it's the fucking witch. She said everybody involved, and then two more people that had helped out from there.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 3:
Got like, not like shortly after they uh got diagnosed like with something terminal. So I was like shit, aids, I wouldn't say aids, I don't know what it was, but something terminal. And the other people that were involved in that shit, they're like, well, what the fuck are we supposed to do? It was like we're scared because we're not. Nobody wants to find the witch if I can do anything about it. So what they end up doing is they end up leaving that town and they go to the next town over, which is like 20, 30 minute drive yeah and they go and they find another brujo like another witch, so they can like take the curse off and do like a cleansing on them and shit.
Speaker 3:
Um, those people were fine but they're still getting sick. And then on the 26th, the day after that, the priest died. One of the altar boys said that he just dropped dead while they're preparing for service.
Speaker 2:
He just damn, he just fell out. Yeah, he just fucking fell out. Damn. So he was a uh early tester of blues.
Speaker 3:
Yes, he was on that fucking Fenty. But yeah, then everybody started getting like fucking mad because so many people were fucking dying, everybody's like it's the fucking witch. So they get like a fucking little, like it's basically just yeah, it's just like farmers and shit.
Speaker 3:
So they get their pitchforks no they get like their shovels and they get like their fucking rifles and they go down to the witch's house and try to get her and they're like, yelling at her to come out, they're going to light her house on fire. Nobody comes out. There's nobody there, hmm. So then a couple of days go by, nothing's happening, cause they can't find her or anything. But then some kids say that they spotted her out by this little fucking past the little freeway and into the little, what's it called, the little plots of land. There's an abandoned house, like a couple of run-down houses, and they saw her hiding out there. Yeah, so they ran back into town and they told everybody like that's where she's at. So then the same little posse went out and they fucking dragged her out of the house, they fucking killed her and they're like, well, we got to get rid of the body. So they go and they're going to burn it.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 3:
They throw it in the fire and a bunch of people that were there said that they sounded like they were laughing, like a bunch of distorted laughing coming from around them, and they burned the body up. I don't know if they ever did anything past that. She didn't have any information past that yeah but that it sounded like a bunch like cackling, like laughing and shit hmm well, I guess that's why you don't burn.
Speaker 2:
Uh, someone that made a pact with the devil I guess man, but what else you're gonna do?
Speaker 3:
she's this lady over there killing forgiveness, I mean, I guess, but nobody really did anything to her.
Speaker 2:
She kind of came in and started shit maybe she was testing people to see if people would leave her be or if people would uh, intervene and just toss her out.
Speaker 3:
I don't know, man, I think she might have just been mentally ill.
Speaker 2:
I mean very well, could have been that as well. Yes, yeah. Can't say no on that one, because mental illness can definitely be no joke.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, but listening I was like, ah, it's a cool story, but I don't know.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I mean, maybe it's all coincidence, maybe they just legit had eaten too much fucking greasy shit all the time, and it was, I would not doubt it to them or you know the the priest, maybe he had an underlying condition, fucking palpitation, something, aneurysm, just fucking.
Speaker 3:
One minute there, next minute, just fucking goodbye yeah, but that story did bring back a random memory though. Do you remember those fucking limited run sweatshirts we had? Yes the fucking voodoo's just spicy witchcraft yes I was remembering those fucking sweaters. After, like, I heard the story I was like, damn, I kind of want me one of those again yeah I still have mine, but god faded.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, you can't yeah, you can't tell anymore, but that was a daily wear for fucking years oh yeah, dude, that was like years ago, yeah, it took forever for it to start wearing down it was a good sweater.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, might they order some more?
Speaker 2:
yeah, there's a couple things that I'm like huh, I want to get that, but I know we have stuff up on. Redbubble is one of them. And then, god, I'm trying to remember the other one, teespring or no, I think it was just called Spring.
Speaker 3:
I think it was Teespring, wasn't it?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, that one and Redbubble. But now Teespring got switched to Spring. Oh, pauly Vufonce, no.
Speaker 3:
Fair enough, but that's all we have for this week.
Speaker 2:
Well, you know what they say. You don't fuck around with witches.
Speaker 3:
The more you fuck around, the more you're going to find out.
Speaker 2:
Or in the words of Whitechapel you, just you know, gotta be wary, because you never know what can happen when a demon defiles a witch.
Speaker 3:
I thought you were going to say the saw is the law.
Speaker 2:
I mean that too, but you know that's a different subject matter. Yes, sir.
Speaker 3:
Well, that's it for this week, guys. Thank you for stopping by. We'll see you guys in Helheim. Bye, thank you.